DBT Boundaries Worksheet: Therapist Guide with Template & Scripts

You already know the pattern. A client shows up resentful, exhausted, or guilty after another blown boundary. They either wall everyone out or let everyone in, and the emotional whiplash keeps derailing progress. A structured DBT boundaries worksheet gives you a concrete tool to interrupt that cycle in session and between sessions.

This guide walks you through a worksheet template you can start using immediately. You will get a clear structure, mini scripts, coaching tips, and troubleshooting strategies, all grounded in DBT interpersonal effectiveness and emotion regulation skills.

TL;DR

• A DBT boundaries worksheet turns a vague wish ("I need people to respect me") into a specific, behavioral limit with a follow-through plan.
• Boundaries are about your client's behavior, not controlling someone else's reaction.
• The worksheet follows seven steps: name the pattern, identify the crossed boundary, check vulnerability factors, clarify values, write the boundary, plan follow-through, and anticipate barriers.
• Pair the worksheet with DEAR MAN, GIVE, and FAST skills for communication and self-respect.
• Start with one high-impact boundary per week. More than that leads to overwhelm and dropout.

What "Boundaries" Mean in DBT (and What They Do Not)

A DBT Definition You Can Use in Session

A boundary is a clear limit around what you will do, allow, or participate in. It governs your behavior, not someone else's feelings or choices. In DBT terms, boundaries protect therapy targets: safety, emotional stability, and relationship effectiveness.

This framing matters. Clients often believe that setting a boundary means making someone else change. Redirect early: "A boundary is your plan for what you will do."

Common Misconceptions to Correct Early

Correcting these early prevents clients from using boundary language to justify avoidance or coercion.

When to Use a DBT Boundaries Worksheet (Best-Fit Clinical Situations)

Presenting Problems That Respond Well

• People-pleasing, resentment cycles, and chronic overfunctioning
• Explosive conflict triggered by repeated boundary violations
• Invalidation dynamics with family, partners, or coworkers
• Digital boundary struggles: constant availability, location sharing, text pressure

When a Worksheet Is Not Enough

Screen before worksheeting. If your client is in an actively abusive or coercive relationship, boundary coaching can increase risk. Severe dissociation or active substance use blocks follow-through and needs stabilization first. In high-risk situations, safety planning and crisis supports come before boundary work. Boundaries never replace legal, medical, or emergency resources.

Types of Boundaries to Include on the Worksheet

Core Categories Clients Understand Quickly

• Physical: touch, personal space, privacy, home access
• Emotional: topics off limits, tone, criticism, caretaking roles
• Time and energy: availability windows, work hours, recovery time
• Digital: response times, posting, passwords, tracking apps
• Sexual: consent, pace, exclusivity, aftercare
• Material/financial: lending, shared expenses, gifts with strings

How Should Clients Rate Their Boundary Clarity?

Use a simple traffic-light system on the worksheet:

• Green: Clear and easy to state
• Yellow: Unclear or inconsistent follow-through
• Red: High emotion, high stakes, or repeated violations

Start clinical work with the yellows. Reds often need safety planning first.

The DBT Boundaries Worksheet Structure

This seven-step template is the core of the boundaries worksheet for DBT. Walk through it collaboratively in session, then assign targeted steps between sessions.

Step 1: Name the Situation and the Pattern

Have the client identify who is involved, what keeps recurring, and what they do that unintentionally reinforces it. "Every time my mom criticizes my parenting, I explain myself for 20 minutes, then hang up crying." That is a pattern, not a one-off.

Step 2: Identify the Boundary Being Crossed

Describe the specific behavior, not character. "She calls me a bad mother" is observable. "She's toxic" is not. Separate facts from interpretations. Pick one boundary to work first to prevent worksheet overload.

Step 3: Check Vulnerability Factors

This links directly to DBT emotion regulation. Boundaries fail most often when clients are sleep-deprived, hungry, in pain, or emotionally flooded. Have them note their current vulnerability load and what they can adjust before the conversation.

Step 4: Clarify Values and Goals

Use three lenses from interpersonal effectiveness:

• Objective effectiveness: What outcome do you want?
• Self-respect: What do you need to feel okay with yourself after?
• Relationship: What do you want to preserve long term?

Choose the primary goal to reduce mixed messaging.

Step 5: Write the Boundary in One Sentence

Make it behavioral, doable, and measurable. Use "I" language. Keep it short enough to say once without overexplaining.

Examples:

• "I'm not available to talk after 9 pm."
• "If yelling starts, I will pause the conversation and revisit tomorrow."

No moralizing. No listing every past grievance.

Step 6: Plan the Follow-Through

This is the step clients skip and the step that makes or breaks the boundary. Specify:

• What you will do if the boundary is respected
• What you will do if it is not, stated neutrally
• Make consequences realistic and within your control

Step 7: Anticipate Barriers and Problem-Solve

Common barriers: guilt scripts, fear of abandonment, fear of the other person's anger. Pair with specific skills: paced breathing, STOP, self-validation, check the facts. Rehearse responses to common pushback without debating.

How to Coach Clients to Communicate the Boundary

DEAR MAN Prompts for the Worksheet

Embed these directly into the worksheet so clients have a script framework:

• Describe: One sentence of facts
• Express: One feeling word, no blame
• Assert: The boundary sentence from Step 5
• Reinforce: What improves if the boundary is respected
• Mindful: A broken-record phrase to return to
• Appear confident: Posture, eye contact, steady tone
• Negotiate: Only on details, never on the core limit

GIVE and FAST as Guardrails

GIVE keeps warmth intact without collapsing the limit. FAST keeps self-respect front and center when guilt spikes. Add this reminder line to the worksheet: "Kind voice, firm limit."

Mini Scripts for Common Boundary Themes

Time and Availability

• "I won't be answering calls after 9 pm. If it's urgent, text and I'll respond in the morning."
• "I need 24 hours' notice for schedule changes. Same-day requests will be a no."

Conflict and Tone

• "If yelling starts, I'm going to leave the room. We can try again when we're both calm."
• "I'm willing to discuss one topic at a time. If we shift to old arguments, I'll pause."

Family and Caregiving

• "I'm not going to discuss [sibling's] choices with you. You'll need to talk to them directly."
• "I can help with childcare once a month. More than that isn't something I can commit to."

Digital Boundaries

• "I'll respond to texts within a few hours, not immediately. That's my normal pace."
• "Please don't post photos of my kids without asking first."

Troubleshooting: Why Boundaries Fail and How to Revise the Worksheet

If the Boundary Is Too Vague

Replace "be respectful" with observable behaviors. Add a time frame or context. One limit per conversation keeps it clean.

If Follow-Through Is Unrealistic

Scale consequences to something your client can do consistently. Plan for the first test, not an ideal future. Use environmental supports: separate rooms, pre-arranged rides, scheduled check-ins.

If Emotions Hijack the Delivery

Use a pre-commitment strategy: write it, rehearse it, then deliver it once. Add a distress tolerance step before initiating. Build in a repair script for after escalation. If you are using Supanote for session documentation, flag boundary rehearsals in your notes so you can track progress across sessions without extra admin time.

What If the Other Person Escalates?

Shift from effectiveness to safety. Document patterns clinically and revisit your risk assessment. Remind clients that boundaries reveal important information about relationship viability.

How to Use the Worksheet in Session and Between Sessions

In-Session Use

Pick one target interaction from the past week. Complete Steps 1 through 6 together, then role-play once. End with a concrete commitment: when, where, and what exact words.

Between-Session Use

Assign one boundary-setting worksheet per week maximum. Have clients track: Was it stated? Was it tested? What did you do? Bring it back for chain analysis if there was a blow-up or shutdown.

Ethics and Scope Notes for Clinicians

Do not use boundary coaching in ways that increase risk in unsafe relationships. Document your rationale when boundary work intersects with safety planning. Adapt language for neurodivergence, trauma history, and cultural context. Coordinate with couples therapists, family sessions, or collateral supports when relevant, with appropriate consent.

Conclusion

A DBT boundaries worksheet works because it converts a vague emotional need into a clear, behavioral plan with follow-through. Keep it specific, keep it brief, and always pair it with emotion regulation skills.

Start with one high-impact boundary. Practice it. Revise based on what actually happens. That iterative process is where the real clinical traction lives.

FAQs: DBT Boundaries Worksheet

Where can I find a printable DBT boundaries worksheet?You can build one directly from the seven-step template in this article. Many DBT training programs also include boundary-setting worksheets in their interpersonal effectiveness modules.

Can I use this worksheet with clients who are not in a full DBT program?Yes. The structure is rooted in DBT skills, but it works well in individual therapy, CBT-informed work, and eclectic approaches. The key is pairing it with emotion regulation support.

How many boundaries should a client work on at once?One. Working on multiple boundaries simultaneously leads to overwhelm and inconsistent follow-through. Start with the highest-impact boundary and build from there.

What if my client cannot follow through on any boundary?Assess vulnerability factors and readiness. Sometimes the barrier is skills deficit, sometimes it is safety, and sometimes it is an unrealistic consequence. Scale down and troubleshoot before assuming resistance.

Is boundary work appropriate for clients with BPD?Absolutely. Boundary work is a core component of DBT interpersonal effectiveness. Clients with borderline personality disorder often benefit significantly from structured boundary practice, especially when paired with distress tolerance and self-validation skills.

How do I adapt a boundary worksheet for adolescents?Simplify the language, use concrete examples from their daily life (texting, social media, peer pressure), and involve caregivers in understanding the framework. Keep the worksheet to three or four steps initially.

Should I use the worksheet in group or individual sessions?Both work. In group, use it for skill teaching and peer feedback on boundary scripts. In individual sessions, use it for personalized chain analysis and rehearsal tied to specific relationships.